Category Archives: Trailnet

The Art of Riding

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Solo Brown Pelican

Solo Brown Pelican

Anne has fallen under the weather this weekend, a parting shot from those runny nosed gutter snipes. She’s off for the summer now and as soon as she is feeling better again, I’m sure that she will begin reveling in the three best things about teaching, June, July and August. I had to fly solo today, because Anne had a couch stuck on her back. I did a Trailnet ride, my first of the season. A modest little affair, it was one of their community rides, this one was the Art of Riding ride. We’ve done this ride before, it features local artists and is some leisurely fun. This ride was more performance art oriented than the others. The performances started before the ride began, at registration. Two banjo players, in a group called Gaslight Square, serenaded us while we waited for the stragglers to arrive. Our first stop was at COCA, where we all performed improv. There were three one-minute rounds. In the first one all you had to do was is speak in the present tense. I was paired with two women and none of us knew the others. The first round was difficult. For the second round, you had to stay in the present, but you also had to disagree with everything that the other people were saying. I found this round incredibly easy. For the final round disagreement was switched to agreement. You had to say, “Yes…, and…”, both agreeing and elaborating. This was probably the best round of the three. Our next stop was down Delmar, with its newly minted trolley tracks. One of the women that I had just improvved with went down on these tracks, when her front wheel got stuck in them, but she was OK. Our next stop was an artist’s collective, where Bryan Payne presented his Doodle Stones artwork. Although there was physical art at this stop, it was as much performance art as the others. Payne geo-caches his Doodle Stones and for him other people finding them is as much of their story as his painting. The ride went on, but I had had enough by then. I was hungry. I headed home and found Anne still alive on the couch.

Are You A Turtle?

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Japanese Flying Carp Kites

Japanese Flying Carp Kites

“You bet your sweet ass I am”, is the correct response to this question. The origin of this Q&A dates back to WW II where some unnamed American pilots formed a drinking club called the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles, self-described as “an honorable drinking fraternity composed of ladies and gentlemen of the highest morals and good character, who are never vulgar.” Members could depose each other with this question and upon not receiving the correct response expect a drink. If however, the correct answer was given then the questioner becomes the buyer. Entry into this club is gained by successfully answering four qualifying questions from a standard list. Here are four samples:

  • What does a woman do sitting down that a dog does on three legs and a man does standing up?
  • What does a cow have four of and woman only two?
  • What is a four letter word ending in K that means to have intercourse?
  • What is it on a man that is round and hard, and sticks so far out his pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?

Now each of these questions have a possible vulgar answer, but remember that the Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles is an honorable fraternity and members are never vulgar. So, get your dirty minds out of the gutter. The correct answers are shake, legs, talk and head. During the Mercury spaceflights was when the most famous posing of the question, “Are you a turtle?” occurred. Wally Schirra was seated in Mercury 8, when fellow astronaut Deke Slayton came over the air and posed THE question. Not wanting to be vulgar while broadcasting to the world, Schirra switched his mic from broadcast to record and made the correct response. Switching back all the world heard was, “That’s a rog.” After landing the recording vindicated him and Slayton ended up buying.

All of this is by way of preamble and explanation to what we have been doing the last two days, namely trying and failing to get our diabetic donkeys out of bed early enough. It is hot here in Saint Louis this holiday weekend and if you want to do anything outside, you best get it done before the day heats up. On Saturday, we were too slow in rousing our donkeys of a sweet and kindly disposition and the best that we could do was a couple of turns around Forest Park, before we headed home and hunkered-down in the air-conditioning for the rest of the day. Today, we were a little more successful in getting out early.

Today, we got up and out earlier. We also stayed out in the heat longer. We started riding Trailnet’s Tour of the Hill ride, picking up the pink dots that mark the course just west of Forest Park. Our plan was to follow the course back to the start/finish and then pay the fee. We rode through the park, CWE and were on Tower Grove, when we decided to become pirate riders and not pay. If we had chosen the short route, we could have made it back to registration before it closed, but instead we chose the medium route. We did fine through Lafayette Square and Soulard, but somewhere around the brewery we lost the trail of pink. Not really being lost, we head back towards the Hill, through Benton Park and Tower Grove Park. We ended up stopping at the garden and doing the Japanese Festival, but the heat had arrived and without our bicycle’s breeze it soon became too much. By way of refreshment, we got a little bit of sushi and a lot of lemonade, which gave us just enough go to get home.

Blue Dasher Dragonfly

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Blue Dasher Dragonfly

Blue Dasher Dragonfly

Morning light
The dragonfly waits
World is one

I got out on the bicycle this morning, for the second day running. In the early morning, it is still cool or at least cooler, here in Saint Louis. Unlike yesterday, which was a bit of a Hammerfest, today I stopped to smell the flowers, look around and take some pictures too. I rode over to the Tower Grove farmers market. There are many farmers markets in town and this one isn’t even the most venerable one, but it seems to be enjoying quite a bit of success. Its vibrancy is palpable. It seemed to have more infants per capita than any other event that I have recently attended. Part of the draw of this market are its two playgrounds and situated in-between them is the recently restored wading pool and pavilion. So there is plenty here to entertain the wee sprouts, while the other half goes shopping. There was also a folk music concert going on in the pavilion. After this frenetic marketing, I enjoyed the serenely quiet eastern half of Tower Grove Park. I even got some swooping in.

The dragonfly
Takes a crap…
Chrysanthemum

I returned home, showered and then headed out to do my real marketing at Schnucks. They were having a bit of a party there, a birthday party. The West Richmond store is now twenty years old. I remember when it first opened. It seemed huge compared to our old Schnucks at Clayton and Hanley. It even had a live salmon fish tank. Twenty years later, the fish tank is gone, the old Schnucks property is still for sale and this store doesn’t seem quite so large anymore. There are always a few free food vendors hawking their wears on a Saturday, but today it was just ridiculous. I ate so much there that I wasn’t even hungry for the hot soup that I had brought, when I got home. My favorite was Lena’s Pizza. I caught it just as the pizza was coming out of the oven. Lena’s uses Imo’s Provel cheese. There were a couple of firemen waiting too and I motioned them to go ahead. I had plenty of time and they might not, but they declined, preferring to wait, because the pizza was so hot that they were afraid that it would burn them. God help me, but I found this to be hilarious. The pizza was very hot, but fortunately, there were even more free booze vendors then there were free food vendors. I was easily able to wash down the hot pizza.

While, I was checking-out a guy came up to me. I had pulled on my new Trailnet t-shirt, which this year is the same for members and volunteers. I’m a member of Trailnet, but he must have thought that I was more. He began to harangue me that “Trailnet needs to spend more time training the police to ticket cyclists who don’t obey the traffic laws.” I listened to his rant and when he was spent I said, “I know, I saw five bicyclists run a stop sign right in front of a cop this morning.” I didn’t say that I was the sixth and that I waved and smiled at the cop when I passed him. I told him that I would share his concerns, as I have just done here. I don’t believe that the bad will engendered by lawless bicyclists is that grave a danger, at least compared to motorist who just don’t see bicycles.

Have you come
To save us haiku poets?
Blue dragonfly

Bridge Birthday Bash

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Dandelions at Night

Dandelions at Night

Saturday night, we made it to the botanical gardens for the second iteration of the Chinese lantern festival. I liked these dandelion sculptures when I first saw them during the day, but they are positively glowing at night. We both took plenty of photographs at the festival, so expect to see more of them.

Today was another big bike riding day, with Trailnet’s Bridge Birthday Bash, held at the old Chain of Rocks Bridge. We did the long route for 53 miles. I am finally beginning to believe that we will be able to do our big Michigan bicycle ride this summer, without dying. The Mississippi River is in full flood, but we crossed it, twice. A number of the trails along the river were flooded, but we were able to detour around them. It rained and we got wet, but we persevered. At ten minutes to three, we were the last two riders to finish, but we finished and Anne is happy, so I’m happy too. It’s just that my butt isn’t very happy right now, but it will get over it.

Get Your Kicks on Route 66

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Pink Elephant Antiques

Pink Elephant Antiques

Part of the joy and dare I say the intrigue of the Mother Road, has always been the kitsch that has adhered along its shoulders, much like plaque does along an artery’s walls. I offer here two examples of prime Americana, a pink elephant and a yellow dog. They certainly are a colorful pair and if you spend too much time with one of them, you may end up seeing the other one in your dreams, or at least in your DTs. Anne and I did Trailnet’s Route 66 bicycle ride today. My wife has become a women possessed, she demands that more and more bicycle miles be ridden. We have a big bike tour next month and we are both woefully short on our training for it. She set the alarm for five, on a Saturday I might add and we arrived in Edwardsville a half-hour before registration began. Typically, we are racing to the start line, just to make the end of the registration window. Our going in position was to do the long ride (58 miles), but the 4Hs had other ideas. No, I’m not speaking of children who raise farm animals, but the four horsemen of the bicycling apocalypse, Heat, Humidity, Hills and Headwinds. Anne wanted to also add chip and seal, but I told her that that just did not scan well. We soon both decided that the long route was too long and it went without saying that the short route was way too short. So, we both settled upon the medium route (41 miles), which was just right. It is hard to argue with such Goldilocks like logic. I’ve made a Faustian bargain though, part of our agreement to do the middle route hinged upon our agreement to do this all over again on Sunday, only earlier.

Yellow Dog Tavern

Yellow Dog Tavern

Across the Delmar Divide

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Rise Up As One

Rise Up As One

The Delmar Divide refers to Delmar Boulevard and its role as a racial dividing line in Saint Louis. North of Delmar is predominately black, while south of Delmar is mostly white. Today, we participated in Trailnet’s community bicycle ride, “People, Public Space and Progress Bicycle Tour”. Our guide was Sarah Witt. We biked down to Aloe Plaza, across Market from Union Station, where the ride proper began. Unfortunately, the fountain wasn’t running. There were about twenty of us and for the record, we were all white. Our tour included, but was not limited to Mill Creek Valley, the Ville and the Greater Ville, the Shelly House, Fairgrounds Park, Crown Candy Kitchen and Old North Saint Louis and Pruitt–Igoe.

The residents along the way were friendly, frequently waving of calling out a greeting. One woman walked away with the quote of the day, when she called out to us from her passing car, “You do know that you are in North Saint Louis?” At times, I felt like a voyeur, but as Sarah pointed out later, we were always in public spaces and the only alternative would have been not to go, which would have been worse.

Certainly the most interesting and disturbing sight was Pruitt–Igoe. This was a public housing project that has come to be immortalized by the video of its implosion. Much of the original site has been repurposed, but 33 acres remain unused. In the fifty years since its demolition and clearing, the land has returned to nature and a forest has grown up in it. We walked into it. It is an eerie, scary place and I was glad to be rid of it. I’m sure that it is haunted.

It was back to Aloe Plaza then and the end of the official ride. Afterwards, seven of us, including Sarah, adjourned to Schlafly’s Tap Room for a little refreshment. The cinnamon-vanilla stout was fantastic. Anne and I toddled home after that. This last year has been filled with racial tensions here in Saint Louis. I don’t think that our little bike ride helped very much, but it didn’t hurt.