Party Pooper

Stool Sample Pigeon

To the Midnight Shitter, please find someplace else to shit. You are now being recorded and will be sorry if you continue. There must be a 1,000 better places for you to shit. Please start exploring your other shitting options. Thank you!

We have been visited twice now, in the middle of night. Always, in the corner of the back porch’s landing that is closest to our bedroom window. After years of neglect, I have been staining said porch. I finally settled upon a lovely colored stain, Sequoia Red. I cannot think, but that these nocturnal deposits are in someway an art criticism. At Anne’s insistence, I have set up a motion activated camera to monitor the situation. Do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do scat-cam. Film at eleven! She seems to feel that when we go on vacation, we will return to a mountain of dung. I don’t understand why she is so concerned, because she won’t be the one who has to deal with it anyway.

It rained all day yesterday and then again into the night. What ever creature that has been doing it, probably was using the porch as shelter and doesn’t like the stain’s smell. Initially, I thought that it was a raccoon, the first load was relatively small, but now I am leaning towards coyote, because the second one was huge. Anne suggested that it might have been a group effort. Hit it boys! Every party has a pooper, that’s why we invited you, party pooper.

Coastal Élites

Leaping Blenny

The leaping blenny is a fish that has bailed on the whole ocean thing, like it’s so 3 billions years ago. Of course, they couldn’t live without the ocean, because without the gentle kiss of sea spray found on the rocks near the waves, they would dry out and die. They have gills and lungs like normal fish, but they also have a dermal lung that allows them to breathe air through their skin, like any amphibian. In spite of its need for moisturizing, the fish has essentially forsaken the sea and spends its most of its life on land. Good news: you are now safe from big fish with nasty sharp pointy teeth. Bad news: Welcome to lizards, crabs and seagull hell. It’s hard being a fish out of water.