Monthly Archives: December 2010

Night Falls Before Christmas

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Night falls before Christmas and it is quiet in the house,
No one else is stirring, except for my spouse,
I’ve hung all of our stockings with care,
And tomorrow will make it look like Saint Nick was there.

The children are all out as I got ready for bed,
With the effects of plum wine spinning my head.
Mom with her knitting and me with a night cap,
Had settled to couch and just begun to nap.

When out in the yard there arose a great deal of chatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
I grabbed up my camera and turned on its flash,
Tore open the door and then slipped and went splash!

I fell on my ass, due to new-fallen snow,
Slipped down the steps and yelled, “Lookout below!”
When, I finally came to and my eyes began to clear,
I saw there before me family members, all very dear.

Some were quite old, others lively and quick,
I knew in a moment, this was my gift from Saint Nick.
Less rapid than eagles, like pelicans they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and I called them by name!

“Now Jaybird! now, Jane! now, Banana and Karen!
On, Janet! On, Crisco! On Frank-ski and Tristan!
Carry me to the porch! Prop me against the wall!
My brains! I’ve dashed away! Dashed away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
[This is a convoluted metaphor that last week flew,
From one of Anne’s kids, with great difficulty too.]

And then, in a twinkling, I stood on the roof,
Prancing and dancing and kicking up my hoofs.
I threw back my head, and was turning around,
When I fell down the chimney in a single bound.

I awoke dressed in bandages, from head to foot,
My piled clothes, all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys had been used to prop up my back,
I looked like a peddler, having fallen on his pack.

But their eyes-how they twinkled! Jay’s dimples were merry!
Jane’s cheeks were like roses, Karen’s nose like a cherry!
Frank’s droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of Chris’ chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe I found clenched in my teeth,
And strange smoke circled my head like a wreath.
I had a broad smile and a little round belly,
Which shakes when I laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

I’m chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw my reflection, in spite of myself!
A wink of Jay’s eye and a twist of Carl’s head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work,
Even though Clement Clarke Moore thinks I’m a jerk.
And laying a finger aside of their nose,
And I thought that The Sting, was as far as that goes!

They sprang all away, and like a team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew some with a Scottish thistle.
But I heard Jane exclaim, ‘ere she drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

We got our snow for Christmas.  Not a lot, but enough.  The pictures are from early Friday, so there is more snow on the ground now.  Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.  Everyone else, we wish you a very Merry Christmas!

The Boys Are Back In Town

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Just like Dan managed to escape LA, before all of the creeks rose out of their banks and then all of the dams broke, Dave managed to make it into town before Saint Louis’ expected Christmas Eve snowfall.  It looks like we’ll be enjoying a white Christmas this year.  This is the first time in a long time that the whole family has been together.  As part of our end-of-year retrospective here in RegenAxeLand, we dredged up the preceding photograph that was first published in January, but was actually taken years earlier.  At first publishing, the following description was written about this picture:

Photographing children is a task best accomplished quickly.  Fumbling with the camera, taking too many shots or taking too long to make the shot can all lead to childish behavior that is not conducive to good photography.  That is unless you have PhotoShop and know how to use it.  Left to right we have Liz, Dan, Val, Mouse, Dave and Janet.  Liz’s sign starts off “Robin”, but we couldn’t read anymore of it.  I warned them at the time, that their faces would freeze like that.  Maybe, I should have been clearer and said, your faces will be freeze framed like that. 😆

So today is Christmas Eve, which means that tomorrow is Christmas Day.  The thoughts of all those little boys and girls out there have turned to wondering what presents will the morrow bring.  As our boys have grown, the ease with which I am able to select presents for them has diminished.  Gone are the days when all that was required to Christmas shop for them, was to make a quick trip to the local toy store.  Gone too are the days when I was cognizant of all of the latest Dungeon and Dragons offerings or which Warhammer miniatures were the most desired.  Nowadays, I could walk into an electronics store, like Best Buys and attempt to buy the perfect gift, but would likely fail.  “Dad, I [don’t want | already have] that game [system].”  I’ll probably fallback and rely upon one of those staid and completely boring exciting gift ideas, like [censored] or even worse better, [censored].  Probably I say, because come snow or high water, I’m going shopping on Christmas Eve.  Funny though, yesterday, before work, I stumbled upon what they really want.  Team Unicorn has it, even if their titles are too clunky to express it.  I just don’t know how to get it for the boyz.

I stumbled upon Team Unicorn and their movies and was pleasantly surprised with their production values, but mostly with their choice of themes.  Their themes cut close to home.  In an interview, they were asked why the name Team Unicorn?  Their response, like geek girls, unicorns are supposed to exist too.

Our Best Bird Pictures of 2010

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At this time of year, all of the “real” media outlets are spending a fair portion of their bandwidth looking back over the ending year.  I thought that I could easily emulate this trick.  After three hours of PhotoShopping, I am just now starting to actually write this post, so much for a quick and easy blog post idea.  The “picture” with this post is an animated GIF.  As such, it may not actually play on your computer if your security settings are too tight.  I don’t think that it will play on the iPhone either.  I’m sorry folks, but my talent just cannot be constricted by limiting technology.  😉

 Assuming that you can actually see it, the following picture shows twelve pictures of birds that I have taken in 2010, one for each month.  Last year, I published a calendar and many of its months featured bird pictures.  I will not be making one this year.  In lieu of that production, I plan on blogging several more of these photographic catalogues of the year 2010.  Next week, I’ll be off from work and will have the time to devote to these projects.

  • Trumpeter Swans in Flight, the Riverlands, 1/27 – This is the first and probability the best picture that I took this year.  I love the etherealness of this picture, three off-white birds sailing through a grey cotton sky.
  • American Bald Eagle, the Riverlands, 2/26 – The Bald Eagles nest along the big rivers in winter.  When the weather turns cold and even the Mississippi freezes, they tend to congregate near the lock and dams.  When they do so, they become relatively easy to photograph.
  • King Vulture, Saint Louis Zoo, 3/21 – Photographing birds in the zoo is a lot like shooting fish in a barrel, highly productive, but not very satisfying.  Occasionally though I have been able to engage the zoo’s inhabitants and this photo is an example of this kind of success.
  • A Snowy Egret Performs a Mating Dance, Forest Park, 4/11 – It is springtime and a young male bird’s thoughts turn to love.
  • Mallard Ducklings, Forest Park, 5/26 – If April is the cruelest month, than ducklings that survive to May are just ducky.
  • Fluffed Up White Crowned Sparrow, Point Lobos, CA, 6/28 – Just a sparrow, but still a bird projecting personality.  Projecting its thoughts about a cold and windy day.
  • Some Sort of Grouse, Grand Teton, 7/20 – We saw a lot of birds on our Yellowstone/Grand Teton vacation.  I’m sorry that I had to pick just one.
  • All the Young Gulls in Paris Are Wearing Crayfish this Fall, the Cabin, 8/17 – This gull once had this crayfish in its mouth, but the crayfish escaped its beak and latched on to the gull’s breast.  It hung there until it was able to slip back into the lake and escape.
  • Four American White Pelicans, the Riverlands, 9/24 – The pelicans are the fall migratory bird specie at the Riverlands.  They herald the winter species to come.  Now what the helican is that pelican rhyme?
  • Red-tailed Hawk, Grant’s Trail, Saint Louis, 10/16 – Anne took this photo.  She takes many good photos, but the little point and shoot that she likes to use, doesn’t usually have the telephoto chops to get a decent bird picture.
  • Anna’s Hummingbird, Monterey, CA, 11/5 – In this photo I demonstrate that I can take an non-blurry photo of a hummingbird.  The secret, just find where it roosts and then just wait.
  • Belted Kingfisher in a Sycamore Tree, Forest Park, 12/18 – I was worried that I wouldn’t have anything to show for December, until last week.

California dreamin’

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All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray
I’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day
I’d be safe and warm if I was in LA
California dreamin’ on such a winter’s day
The Mamas and the Papas

Should a husband put his wife up upon a pedestal?  How about a pedestal on the lip of a caldera?   This photo of Anne looking all rugged and outdoorsy was taken last summer on our vacation to Yellowstone.  The picture was taken on our last day there.  Jay, Carl and Ashlan had joined us the day before and we all spent that last day hiking above Fort Yellowstone, which is pictured in the valley below.  This graphic digresses from the theme of this post in that, the picture was taken in Wyoming and the rest of this post is about California, but from a myopic mid-easterner’s point of view, it is all still, The West.  Anyway, I liked the picture and I love this woman, so please enjoy it too.

Dan and Annie are back in Saint Louis for the holidays.  They have each completed their first semester and one-quarter of their masters’ degrees.  Dan has already had his first Hollywood moment.  One of his classmates is the daughter of Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman.  He met the parents at a school function.  He and Annie will be in town for the holidays and are booked to return to LA in January.  Dan hopes to land a summer internship at an art camp in Maine.  This is an art camp for adults.  Rich adults, maybe?

I heard on NPR, about a flash mob event that occurred in Roseville, CA on Monday.  A flash mob event is created with a chain letter like series of text messages that culminate with people spontaneously appearing at a local and then performing some sort of song or act.  In Roseville the local was a mall and the act was the singing of Handel’s Messiah.  This event became way oversubscribed and 5,000+ people showed up.  Way more than could even fit in the mall.  People were packed cheek to jowl, which caused fear that the mall’s flooring was beginning to buckle and give way.  Fire and Rescue was called and everyone was saved.  Hallelujah!

Saint Louis might enjoy a white Christmas this year.  This year, there is a 22% chance of some snow on the ground for Christmas.  Currently, there is not really any to speak of.  Our Farmer’s Almanac odds of five-inches of white stuff or more are only one in thirty-three.  If a White Christmas does come to pass, it will occur on Christmas Eve.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,
just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten and children listen
to hear sleigh bells in the snow
Irving Berlin

Whatever Saint Louis’ chances are for a white Christmas, they have to be better than LA’s.  When I wrote this post, at first Dan and then both Dan and Annie engaged in the pre-Christmas party ritual of wrapping presents.  It was good to hear them both bantering together again and chattering about.  I slipped into California dreamin’ and was glad to have them both home, safe from LA.

Black Tuesday

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This week, Men’s Health magazine put Saint Louis dead last in its rankings of a hundred American cities.  The companion periodical, Women’s Health magazine, was only slightly better, with its ranking of Saint Louis as the 97th city on its list.  This puts Saint Louis at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to picking a healthy place to live.

Saint Louisans are naturally skeptical of these dubious rankings.  We have been routinely pelted with the titles of America’s most dangerous city and murder capital of the U.S.  These ranking come to us not through lies, or even damn lies, but through statistics, the mathematical equivalent of a falsehood.  These crime statistics have been discredited by the FBI, but still they persist and once again this year Saint Louis is so crowned.
 
It is easier to dispute Saint Louis’ poor crime rankings, because the underlying data is available for review.  These two health magazines have not been so forthcoming with their research.  A skeptic is left to wonder if darts were involved with the selection process, but that would make Saint Louis the worst dart playing city too.  It is easy to dismiss this ranking as some statistical sleight-of-hand or demographic gerrymandering, but doing so would mean also dismissing Saint Louis’ documented health history.
 
The first year that Anne and I moved to Saint Louis, we experienced the hottest weather that we have ever had here.  In 1980, that summer’s killer heat wave killed 113 people.  In the 1980s red air quality days were all too common.  In recent years these red days have faded to orange, but that is as likely due to politically motivated relaxing of the standards as it is to Saint Louis rising to the challenge and cleaning up its air.  The nadir of Saint Louis health quality came some seventy-one years ago, on “Black Tuesday”.
 
On November 28, 1939, Saint Louis’ air pollution problem reached crisis proportions.  This so-called “Black Tuesday” galvanized civic leaders to pass air pollution laws to help clean up Saint Louis’ atmosphere.  Women’s rights groups were instrumental in getting these laws passed.  The Missouri History Museum’s Homelands: How Women Made the West exhibit touched upon this problem and how women worked to solve it.  The two pictures with this post and the accompanying quoted text come from this exhibit.

During the late 19th and early 20th centuries, air pollution was especially bad in Saint Louis because the fuel available locally was soft bituminous coal.  As these images from “Black Tuesday” in 1939 show, soft coal produced so much smoke that it sometimes blocked out the sun.  Soot falling on the city drove suburbanization by lowering city property values, ruining merchandise in stores and threatening the health and well-being of the population.

Our house was built in 1937.  It has a coal chute door on the front corner of the building.  In the center of that cast iron door a hole has been cut and a heating oil pipe sticks out from its center.  The oil tank still resides in the basement. We heat with natural gas now.  So this building has gone from coal to oil to gas.  Our gas furnace is old, almost ancient and long overdue for replacement.  A new high efficiency gas furnace should pay for itself quickly.  Its lower carbon footprint should also help make Saint Louis a healthier town to live in.  Saving money and living longer too, sounds like a winner to me.

Weekend Update

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Saturday night, Anne and I went to Joe’s Christmas party.  Joe, a co-worker of mine, has been holding this party for about a dozen years.  We went for the first time last year.  What makes Joe’s Christmas party special is that it is a Christmas cookie party.  Anne brought a batch of cookies that she made to share, as did many of the other guests.  The chocolate-cherry mice were easily the biggest hit in this department.  The food artist used the stem of the chocolate dipped maraschino cherries for the tails and almond slices as their ears.  They looked too good to eat, well almost.  At the party, fixings were provided to make and decorate your own cookies.  Anne and I both made a plate of cookies.  The winner is this department was Chris, also from work, with his cookie Christmas tree.  I just couldn’t get him to straightenout his star.  Chris is a great man and a good friend and I won’t let him down this week.

Joe and his wife are rightly proud of all of their children, but they should be especially proud of their eldest daughter.  She is currently a PhD. candidate in genetics at Harvard.  We’ve been joking at work for years that we need to clone Joe, because he is the only one in the company that can do what he does.  Finally, there appears to be a path forward.

I rode by myself on Saturday, but on Sunday, Anne I rode together.  We only did ten miles in the Park, but in these cold and dark December days this counts for much more.  Simply getting out on your bike is a major challenge.  Heck, just putting on all those clothes is hard enough.  The picture below of Anne was taken on the return run, at Wydown and Big Bend.  The cold weather had managed to bring some color to her cheeks.  Anne is my best friend forever.  Who else would put up with biking with me in such crappy weather?

Danny and Annie flew in from the left coast on Sunday night.  Before they took off from LAX, he had posted to Facebook that he was looking forward to enjoying Red Hot Riplets and Schlafly beer.  For the edification of you out-of-towners, Red Hot Riplets are hot barbecue flavored ridged potato chips.  As the bag says they are made with real Saint Louis style hot sauce.  Personally, I find them to be too spicy, but each to their own.

Annie’s folks picked them up at the airport and we all dined together at the Schlafly Bottleworks in Maplewood.  Since last year’s Belgium-fucation of Anheuser-Busch by InBev, Schlafly’s has almost overtaken A-B as the hometown favorite.  Pretty good for a brewery that still has not managed to meet the impossibly high standards of the City of Saint Louis for beer brewing.