Well, there is no joy in Mudville this morning. The mighty Chiefs were defeated. Hell, they were just plain routed! I blame the orange baboon’s chef’s kiss before game time. There is a maxim about what happens to everything that he touches. A maxim that was proved true yet again. Meanwhile, in the rival city of brotherly love, it was party down time. There Kat Flandermeyer‬ compiled a transcript of highlights from last night’s Philly police scanner. You had to laugh, because otherwise you might cry. Between rotating DJs and civilian horses rearing, it was a night of pure chaos. An example of what we as a country have to look forward to in the next four years. We are headed to an America where urban cowboys cannot take their civilian horses out for a ride.

There is currently an undetermined number of DJs, at least two, perhaps three, they are rotating—Large, LARGE crowd coming—The barricades are falling— “We have too many we keep losing the barricades” is being repeated with increasing levels of panic lol—I DONT EVEN KNOW IF THE CREW CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THE PEOPLE TO GET THE DJ—We lost the barricade at chestnut. We lost a lot right now! —I keep hearing “we can start clearing the crowd out” as if that is an attainable goal— “Uh, this is an estimate but I got no less than 5000 people heading your way” “Uh… thanks” — “Broad and Locust is lost” Like this, is the zombie apocalypse—I’ve been avoiding the medic calls but broad and walnut just got a second “man down in his alcohol” —Disregard second man, he has apparently gotten up out of his alcohol and continued partying—we have a man with a boombox who keeps poking out of a store, “keep an eye on him” — “I got about thirty people on top of a trash truck” I NEED to see this—I now have seven or eight people on horses, the fireworks are spooking them and they’re rearing up… they’re civilian horses. 

Well, it was not to be. I was hoping for a Lions versus Chiefs Superbowl matchup, but Detroit let me down. They blew a seventeen-point first half lead and ended up losing to San Francisco by a mere field goal. Meanwhile, Kansas City plucked the Ravens clean, earning themselves yet another Superbowl berth. But play on the field will have to take second or maybe third billing. Perennially, all of those big sweaty guys have to take the backseat to the parade of new ads that are the main attraction for many in the audience.

This year, even Madison Avenue will play second fiddle to the newest show in town, the Taylor and Travis extravaganza. In case you have been living under a rock, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are an item. Last night’s penultimate Chiefs game was punctuated with repeated coverage of Travis making great plays, followed by a quick cut to Taylor, who was shown cheering him on. CBS repeated this combo so often that she eventually mouthed her disapproval.

The straw that seems to have broken her back, was when CBS took the opportunity to promote their coverage of this Sunday’s Grammy awards. Taylor is nominated for six. The two-week lull between the last weekend of real football and the Superbowl is normally saturated with hype that begins to wear thin after fourteen days, but this year it looks like the hype well is overflowing.

I’ve covered the sports and entertainment aspects of this trifecta but have yet to mention the political ramifications of the Taylor-Travis relationship. Swift has campaigned for the Democrats and Kelce has promoted Pfizer’s Covid vaccinations. Positions that are guaranteed to garner scorn from Republicans and their ilk. The internet incels have already worked themselves into a frothy rage. One can only imagine where they will be by game time.