Dear Santa

Scott Curry Glass Vase Illuminated from Within by LED Lights

Scott Curry Glass Vase Illuminated from Within by LED Lights

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good boy this year and I only want to ask you for just one thing. My wife thinks that I’m being unreasonable and that this is too much to ask for at Christmas, but I really, really want this and it is only just one present. So Santa, you are my only hope, if you could get me this for Christmas, I promise not to ask for so much next year and I would be eternally grateful if you brought it on Christmas Day. Please, please, please!

Here is a link to the present that I want. It is a Samsung 85” 3D Smart LED TV. Normally $44,999.99, but is currently marked down to $39,997.99 and it comes with special delivery, so you don’t have to haul it down our chimney yourself. I know what you are thinking, “Who in their right mind would want to spend forty grand on a TV set?” I’ve anticipated this question and I offer up the following testimonials. They like many similar ones can be found in the comments section of the linked to web page:

  • My wife and I bought this after selling our daughter Amanda into white slavery. We actually got a refurbished. It’s missing the remote, but oh well– for $10K off, I can afford a universal, right? The picture is amazing. I’ve never seen the world with such clarity. 
  • I was going to fund my daughter’s wedding in Hawaii, but I figured this Samsung TV would last much longer.
  • I am coming back from the future to write this review, and to let everyone know you can buy this TV for $699 in 2015. It still looks great though.

If these comments don’t convince you then I don’t know what will. I know that times haven’t been so good. We’ve had to deal with the Great Recession, but I know that you have your problems too. What with global warming, your North Pole retreat is likely to soon become a waterfront property or worse. To add insult to injury, a few years back the Russians claimed sovereignty over the North Pole. You can’t really expect much more from them, but this year the Canadians did the same. If you can’t trust the Canadians who can you trust? Santa it may be that your days are numbered, if the polar ice cap melts then you will have to relocate to Antarctica. From there the best you’ll manage to North America and Europe is two-day delivery, like the day after Christmas. Then Amazon really will eat your lunch. So, why not go out with a bang? I can think of no better way to finish up your long and successful career than with a new forty-thousand dollar TV for me.

Yours truly,
le Marquis

PS – The photo with this post shows a Scott Curry glass vase that my Dad gave us. Mr. Curry was a student of Dale Chihuly. In this picture, I’ve attempted to get all artsy and photographed the vase with some LED Christmas lights in it. Lots of nice colors, but it is kind of hard to see the vase. I’m sure though that this picture would look a lot better on my new TV.

3 thoughts on “Dear Santa

  1. Someone I know has asked for an LED TV but only a 39″ (or whatever) and MUCH MUCH MUCH cheaper! Sandy Claws will probably oblige on that if he can fit the damn thing into a cute little Honda Civic. Personally, I would prefer the vase. Love y’all, KW.

  2. I also thought you were asking for the vase. do you know what I would do with $40k? well, neither do I, but give me a few hours and I’ll let you know. 😉

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