Category Archives: Humor
Happy 99th Birthday, Harry!

Harry celebrated his 99th today by attending the August All Season’s birthdays celebration. Because of his age, he was singled out and asked to speak. He told a joke, “After 99 years, I find myself looking forward and not backward. In one year, I look forward to being a centenarian, unless nature has a different plan. Then I will become a cemeterian.” His joke got good laughs.
Warhammer Love Island

Blood Angels are red, Ultramarines are blue, Can I fortify this position with you?
In the past, whenever we got a rainy day the puzzles and games would come out of the yellow game cube. While it is not exactly rainy, except for the moisture ladened soot blowing off of the lake, our AQI means it is not exactly a beach day. But this is the 21st-century and we now have the internet. So, while sitting around, hunched over a new puzzle, why not put something on to listen to while we work. I give you Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. Hosted by Shayne Topp, the show features cast members reacting to wild, dramatic, and often hilarious posts from various subreddits. The particular episode that we listened to was entitled, “Am I Overreacting?” In this episode various personal situations are read that are always ended with the question, am I overreacting? Especially telling was the interaction between a brother and a sister. The sister brough her three-year-old son, who promptly trashed her brother’s apartment. My take on the show is the answer, hell yes, but that’s just me.



In the same vein, Dan and Britt were watching the latest Love Island season finale the other night. This show led to today’s new-new-newest Dan-ism, Warhammer Love Island. Such is life in the shadow of Mount Vesuvius with an AQI of 923. Bay Mills has the highest rating in the county. To the rescue comes Victoria our ace, who built her fifth Corsi-Rosenthal box. She built four before in Saint Louis for mold mitigation in one of her properties. We went to Ace Hardware in Brimley and for $72.55 bought the necessary building supplies. These boxes were purpose built to fight forest fire smoke. Meanwhile, back in the real world:
Somewhere in NYC right now a guy whose roommates have explosive diarrhea wants to get some fresh air. He walks outside. It’s 98 degrees, humid, and the sky is filled with smoke from Canadian wildfires. He walks to a bar and buys a drink. It’s $21!

Cheesehead
Image
Beer Return Facility
Image
Orphaned Negatives

An orphaned negative or unpaired word is a word that contains a negative prefix or suffix (like un-or dis-) but lacks a corresponding positive counterpart in everyday use. It is not to be confused with a negative of orphans. These words feel like they should have an antonym, but the base word has fallen out of use over time. According to AI, orphaned negatives can also be one of those shoeboxes of old photos, where the prints have become separated from their negatives and one is left with a jumbled mess, but leaving AI aside let’s stick with the first definition.
In the July 1994 New Yorker, author Jack Winter offered a humorous take on orphaned negatives in his article, How I Met My Wife. It is written using orphaned negatives. Its opening paragraph demonstrates this tongue-in-cheek linguistic gimmick:
It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party, I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate. I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array.
Tomorrow, I’ll delve into the potential link between phone use and population decline and also drooling in your sleep. Is it normal to drool in your sleep? Every day your mouth produces between a liter to a liter-and-a-half of saliva that has to go somewhere. Why not your pillow?


