Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

This post’s title is a phrase that has no real meaning in Latin. It’s a pun based on the literal translations of the Latin words into English. Semper means “always”, ubi is “where” and sub is “under”. So, semper ubi sub ubi translates to “always where under where”, which sounds like “always wear underwear.” This explains the sight gag, the accompanying XXXL sized pair of tighty-whities. Also, if you convert XXXL from Roman numerals, you end up with a size twenty.

Barbie and Ken

Ken and Barbie

Barbie: You have been lazing around the house for too long. I get up at five every morning and go to work. You need to get out of the house and find a job too.
Ken: I do have a job. I’m a blogger. I mean, I’m a news person. I report the news. I’m a member of the fourth estate. Just because the President doesn’t respect the media is no reason for you to pile on.
Barbie: Ken, I’m saying, you need to be doing more with your life than blogging.
Ken: Barbie, I could do more, if you were there by my side. We could model?

Barbie: In your dream house, Ken. I already have a successful modeling career. Ken: I’ve seen the help wanted emails that have popped up. Is that you?
Barbie: I didn’t send those emails.
Ken: Are you saying then that it was Russian trolls?
Barbie: Whatever.
Ken: I could be your UPS man, a man in brown and deliver you my package.
Barbie: Ken, you don’t have a package to deliver.
Ken: That was a low blow.
Barbie: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be hurtful.
Ken: Sometimes you act like you have a pole up your ass.
Barbie: And you a stick up yours!
Ken: Honey, let’s not fight… I love you.
Barbie: I love you, too.
Ken: I’ll try harder. I’ll right longer, more insightful posts, like this one.
Barbie: Keep trying, Babe and you mean to say write not right.
Ken: Do you want me to get our owner’s little brother to pose us on her bed?
Barbie: That would be grand!


Scary Halloween Moon

There is a certain chill in the air. Halloween is upon us. Thanksgiving is up next and Christmas is around the corner. As they say on HBO, “Winter is coming.” Before we go there though, let’s revel a little in a tonight’s faux scariness. One of this holiday’s elements that I really enjoy is the Halloween joke. Best told in a halting manner by a small child. Derived from the trick-or-treat tradition, the joke is a substitute for some otherwise mean trick.

Q: What’s an optimistic vampire’s favorite drink?
A: B-Positive

The Saint Louis Post-Dispatch hosted a trick-or-treat joke contest this month and I’ve included three of the winners here. Even young comedians sometimes need new material. They’re all rather corny and any one over the age of five cannot do them justice, but if I hear any of them tonight, it should bring a laugh. 

Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bam-Boo!

Yesterday, I bought tonight’s trick-or-treat candy and this morning I set out our modest holiday decorations. Hopefully, they will be enough to attract a few kids to our door. We never get very many, but always enjoy all that we do. Have a happy Halloween! I think that Anne is planning on going as a scary old teacher. 

Q: What’s the difference between swine flu and bird flu?
A: For swine flu you get oink-meant and for bird flu you get tweet-ment.

👿 😯 😈