On this Tax Day, I cannot think of a better time to rail against the government. So, let’s go. “Nothing is certain in this world, except death and taxes.” This quote is attributed to Benjamin Franklin. I frequently find that it’s accrual world, where a fine is a tax for doing wrong, while a tax is a fine for doing well. I have often been asked, what’s the best way to teach your children about taxes? Eating a third of their ice cream ought to do it. And in conclusion, people who cheat on their taxes disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.
Besotted with tales of medieval knights and ladies, Edwin Austin Abbey collected fabrics, read histories, and studied original artifacts to ensure the authenticity of his work. He described this troubadour as a “Gringoirish¹ Barnaby Rudge² kind of Blondel-like³ person,” naming two medieval minstrels and the character of a fool from Barnaby Rudge, by Charles Dickens.
I love using footnotes in my blog posts. I feel (probably wrongly) more sophisticated by using them. Being an engineering student in college, I never had much call while writing Fortran for using footnotes in school.
On every April 1st I operate with “shields up”. Yesterday, Anne was fooled by a joke that claimed that an executive order had just been issued to chop down all of the cherry trees in Washington. With this administration it is easy to believe such outlandish stories. With them it is hard to know whether they are being serious or not. I guess when ICE beats down your door, then you’ll know.
I am especially wary of NPR today. They frequently have a prank news article. Something that they inherited from the BBC, who famously broadcasted an article in 1957 about Swiss spaghetti harvesting. A practice that friends and us once recreated. This was in the era of homemade pasta machine. Anne was coaxed into dressing up as a rural peasant, and we photographed her picking limp pasta noodles off a “spaghetti tree”. I wonder if Bob still has those pics?
The BBC reported, “Spaghetti cultivation here in Switzerland is not of course carried out on anything like the tremendous scale of the Italian industry. Many of you, I’m sure will have seen pictures of the vast spaghetti plantations.” They eventually had issue a retraction, because they were being inundated with requests for where one could get a spaghetti tree.
These days with politics being what they are and with AI looming overall, it is harder to find humor in such foolery. Another example of why we cannot have nice things anymore. But maybe if I use my noodle, I can come up with one.
Gringoirish (Pierre Gringoire): Refers to the 15th-century French poet and playwright, often depicted as a starving, eccentric, or idealistic traveler, famously featured in Victor Hugo’s The Hunchback of Notre-Dame.
Barnaby Rudge: The title character of Charles Dickens’ novel, known as an “intellectually handicapped man-boy” who is simple-minded, innocent, and often wandering with a pet raven.
Blondel-like: Refers to Blondel de Nesle, the 12th-century French troubadour who is legendary for traveling to find his imprisoned king, Richard the Lionheart, symbolizing loyal, romantic artistic devotion.
We got to the airport extra early this morning, not knowing what to expect with unpaid TSA agent’s lines, but everything was hunky-dory. Instead of five-hour long lines, manned by the few remaining, but extra disgruntle agents, we got the five-minute courteous, kind and extra respectful type of security checkpoint. However, we spent the next two-hours waiting at the gate for our flight to board.
The flight was uneventful until about halfway to Boston. I got up to use the toilet. I was closer to the front, so I headed forward. I was waiting my turn, when a disturbance erupted nearby. A couple of unruly passengers got into an argument that quickly escalated into a full fledge fight that spilled into the aisle. The pilot hit the fasten seatbelt light, which seemed like trying to close the barn door after the horses had escaped. My restroom became available and I quickly ducked into it. Coming out again, the fight had gotten much worse. Now there were about a dozen guys going at it, including the flight crew, pilot and copilot. They had left the plane on autopilot and cockpit door wide open. Seeing an opportunity that would never come again, I entered the cockpit, closing the door behind me. I have never flown an airplane for real, but I have cut my teeth on Boeing flight simulators. First fighter jets, but later twin-engine bombers, not too dissimilar to this aircraft. I took it off autopilot and began with some gentle banks back and forth, just to get my feel for the jet. Then remembering what Boeing test pilot Tex Johnson did on the maiden flight of the 707, Boeing’s first commercial jet. I slammed the throttle forward and executed a perfect barrel roll, if I do say so myself. Leveling the aircraft, I reengaged the auto pilot and slipped out of the cockpit. The roll had broken up the fight in the cabin. Stepping over the fallen bodies I returned to my seat. The crew went back to doing their jobs.
Alternatively, our flight was uneventful and while deplaning I asked a flight attendant for permission to photograph the cockpit. I like the first story better. Dave arrived and whisked us away. By then police had swarmed the airport.
At home, Declan was napping and Wyatt was well on his way there too. This gave us ample opportunity to speak with Maren and Dave. Later, the boys awoke and chaos quickly ensued. Sort of like doing continuous barrel rolls in the sky.
Saint Louis has made the news this week, but in a good way. National news reports that up to four vervet monkeys have been spotted loose on the streets of north Saint Louis. As this story was breaking AI images of these primates have circulated. The veracity of the underlying story has been verified by a police monkey sighting, but AI photos not only add levity, but also cast doubt. Saint Louis police have waived charges for the keeping of these animals.
