Snark Attack

Come Here Little Fishy-Fishy

Imagine my surprise this morning, when I found that “MARK 🥺” was trending on Twitter. Investigating, it was not immediately apparent what this was all about or even which Mark they were tweeting on. I eventually ascertained that it was some sort of K-Pop thing and didn’t really reference me, as if. I’m sure that if I ever did actually began trending on Twitter that would not be a good thing. I figured out that the emoji is the “pleading face” emoji, but have no idea why that one was being used, but then there is a lot of things on Twitter that I don’t know or understand. I guess, this mystery is part of its allure.

This morning’s Twitter surprise was nothing compared to yesterday morning’s wakeup call. It is never good when Anne gets a text from her sister first thing in the morning that begins, “Don’t worry…” Jane was texting her sisters that Harry had taken the tip off of one of his fingers with his table saw and that she had taken him to the ER. She later added that after check-in she left the hospital to go home for coffee and a shower, which sounded snarky, until we figured out that the hospital probably doesn’t appreciate a bunch of people loitering around the waiting room these days. Digesting this we figured that they had taken Jane’s car and if so, had she made Harry wear a plastic bag around his bloody hand, so that it wouldn’t bleed on her nice new car or simply asked him to hold it out the window? After it became apparent that this accident was not that serious, the other snark sisters came out to play. Jay mentioned in passing that she needed to drink (fluids), because she was giving blood that day. To wit Anne asked, “Bloody Mary’s?” and Jay replied, “No, Bloody Harry’s.” Harry is doing fine, home without much pain and no stitches. Although he was perturbed with the amount of road construction traffic on the way home.

Years ago, in high school, I had a similar accident, except I used an electric table plane instead of a saw to tip my middle finger. I can still remember the look of anguish on my shop teacher’s face, when he realized what I had done. That accident only resulted in a band-aid and his watchful glances for the rest of the semester. Much later though, I was helping the boys build their pinewood derby cars and for some reason, I got distracted and started messing with the furnace. I had propped up the furnace’s galvanized exhaust pipe, which came down on my hand, leaving a deep cut. I called Anne at work and told her to come home, and then I drove myself to the ER. Some Lidocaine and a few stitches later, I was on my way home. I must say that Lidocaine is way more soothing than snark.

Fire at Will

Sea Nettle Jellyfish

Fire at will, free will, where there’s a will, there’s a way—Today, we had a party in our front yard. We invited Art and Caroline, our next door neighbors and some guy named Charlie. The water company’s road crew crashed our party. They were laying fresh asphalt. It kind of stunk. What was the occasion for all this frivolity? We were throwing a will signing party. Our neighbors were our witnesses, Charlie was the mobile notary and the road crew was just there. It was high time that we did this and while now might not have been the best time to do this, but if not now, when? There’s no moment like the last moment. 

Well the County is closing all of its parks today, like the sculpture one that we managed to visit on Monday. I enjoyed our outing to Laumeier. I imagine that the city will soon follow suit. We visited Forest Park yesterday, with its already restricted vehicle access, which was actually kind of nice. They had closed three main roads on the western end of the park that effectively closed our half of the park to cars. We drove close to the park and then walked into the park and then up and down these closed drives. Social distancing was not an issue. In fact, it was eerily empty. I’ve been in the park at five AM, in the dead of winter and there were more people about then than what we saw yesterday. I hope that they don’t close Forest Park. Eliminating golf carts has already made the park’s golf courses almost virtual, but I expect that our city’s crown jewel will soon be shuttered. I imagine that next week, like that British guy, we’ll be reduced to running marathons in our backyard and the week after that in our basement.