Heard on the street and seen on the package back:

I can feel Bill’s pain—Barack Obama
I guess the battle against the vast right wing nut conspiracy is still on—Dick Cheney
Why does she have all the fun—Nancy Pelosi
Hillary Nutcracker, redundant—John McCain
I’d be nervous if I was a nut job—Kim Jong Il
I can feel the squeeze—Rudy Giuliani
No comment—Bill Clinton

There seems to be one individual missing from this list of quotes, but since this action figure has a 2007 copyright, it comes from before his time on the political stage. He and Epstein were probably still jetting off to abuse young children together.