I’m a sucker for wordplay. Here’s a few from a list that I found on Buzzfeed:
- The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.
- Hyphenated, non-hyphenated, how ironic.
- i before e, except when your foreign neighbor Keith received eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird.
- Doctor: I’m afraid that you have onomatopoeia.
Patient: Oh no! What is that?
Doctor: It’s exactly what it sounds like.
- What if women had apostrophes instead of periods?
They’d be even more possessive and prone to contractions.
- Teacher: Name two pronouns.
Student: Who? Me?
- Let’s eat Grandma.
Let’s eat, Grandma.
Commas save lives.
- An oxymoron walked into a bar and the silence was deafening.
- Today, I will be as useless as the “g” in lasagna.
- A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
- I’m so adjective, I verb nouns.