We got to the airport extra early this morning, not knowing what to expect with unpaid TSA agent’s lines, but everything was hunky-dory. Instead of five-hour long lines, manned by the few remaining, but extra disgruntle agents, we got the five-minute courteous, kind and extra respectful type of security checkpoint. However, we spent the next two-hours waiting at the gate for our flight to board.

The flight was uneventful until about halfway to Boston. I got up to use the toilet. I was closer to the front, so I headed forward. I was waiting my turn, when a disturbance erupted nearby. A couple of unruly passengers got into an argument that quickly escalated into a full fledge fight that spilled into the aisle. The pilot hit the fasten seatbelt light, which seemed like trying to close the barn door after the horses had escaped. My restroom became available and I quickly ducked into it. Coming out again, the fight had gotten much worse. Now there were about a dozen guys going at it, including the flight crew, pilot and copilot. They had left the plane on autopilot and cockpit door wide open. Seeing an opportunity that would never come again, I entered the cockpit, closing the door behind me. I have never flown an airplane for real, but I have cut my teeth on Boeing flight simulators. First fighter jets, but later twin-engine bombers, not too dissimilar to this aircraft. I took it off autopilot and began with some gentle banks back and forth, just to get my feel for the jet. Then remembering what Boeing test pilot Tex Johnson did on the maiden flight of the 707, Boeing’s first commercial jet. I slammed the throttle forward and executed a perfect barrel roll, if I do say so myself. Leveling the aircraft, I reengaged the auto pilot and slipped out of the cockpit. The roll had broken up the fight in the cabin. Stepping over the fallen bodies I returned to my seat. The crew went back to doing their jobs.

Alternatively, our flight was uneventful and while deplaning I asked a flight attendant for permission to photograph the cockpit. I like the first story better. Dave arrived and whisked us away. By then police had swarmed the airport.

At home, Declan was napping and Wyatt was well on his way there too. This gave us ample opportunity to speak with Maren and Dave. Later, the boys awoke and chaos quickly ensued. Sort of like doing continuous barrel rolls in the sky.