A Man for All Seasons

Four Seasons Total Landscaping T-shirt

It seems so long ago and in a galaxy so far, far away that we were treated to a press conference held by Rudy Giuliani, personal attorney to the president and the stars. Held four days after the election, it has been less than a month. It was held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, a business located near a sex shop and a crematorium, which led to speculation that the Trump campaign had meant to book the upscale Four Seasons Hotel instead. The absurdity of this event quickly led to ridicule on the Internet, not the least by the landscaping company that had hosted the event. They soon began hawking t-shirts. The pictured t-shirt is not one of theirs, but you get the idea. Seated on the riding mower is the Philly Flyers mascot Gritty. Hinting that Four Seasons not only does lawn care, but also snow removal. This shirt was gifted to Dan as an early inauguration present.

Beware the Notorious Axe Gang! Our go-to morning ritual has Anne at the desktop, while I sit with the laptop. She gets her fill of social media, while I write this blog. Occasionally, she cackles at a joke and I am compelled to check it out too. Today, she found a possible Christmas gift, a Rutschfest drill bit.

Last summer, we stayed at the cabin much later in the season than normal. It turned cold, but we had ordered a cord of new firewood and proceeded to burn our way through it. It was a face cord and as such was fine going straight from the woodpile to the hearth, but the wood stove in the kitchen was a different matter. Its smaller volume required the wood to be split into more bite-sized pieces. Normally Harry does this. The kitchen is his domain and he likes the exercise he gets swinging an ax, but last summer Harry wasn’t at the cabin. So, this job fell to me. My name aside, I am not that skilled at swinging an ax head. I miss more often than I strike and a disconcerting number of these misses involve overreaching. On those swings, I miss with the blade, but hit with the handle. A handle that was already notched from too many previous such misses.

Enter the Rutschfest drill bit, with it and a cordless drill I can make matchsticks. Watching the linked to video, I realize that I’m going to need a bigger drill, much bigger. I’ll just put that on my Christmas list. I’ve already ordered the drill bit. Originally, I had planned on ordering the drill bit for Harry, but like I said, he likes to chop wood. I’ll bring it to the cabin, where its cost will be offset by any future need to purchase a new ax handle. Anyway, it would still fit nicely into a tactical X-mas stocking ($22.99), for all of my Michigan militia needs. 

6 thoughts on “A Man for All Seasons

  1. A Swedish pattern hand axe will produce more kindling faster and arguably more inexpensively (considering the cost of a drill motor with enough torque to work). Kindling splitting is all about the wood, it’s grain and seasoning (storage since it was cut, not spice). A sharp hand axe will last for nearly ever, and aside from a few trimmed fingers now and then is all in all a better deal.

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