Agent Smith: You hear that Mr. Anderson?… That is the sound of inevitability… It is the sound of your death… Goodbye, Mr. Anderson…
Neo: My name… is Neo.
After last night’s election results, I am really getting nervous now. No that’s much too mild. I’m filled with an indescribable sense of dread. Gone are the halcyon days of last summer, when he was just a joke. Almost gone is the plenitude of rivals, but far from gone is Donald J Trump.
Even though he has been steamrolling along in the Republican primaries, I once took confidence in our firewall, Hillary Clinton. Now, after last night’s Bern down the wall results, I’m not so sure any more. For some, it is flight or fight time, those of the former persuasion should be filling out their Canadian visa applications. Those of the latter should already be heading underground. For those in the middle, it is still wise to plan ahead and ask what would a Trump administration look like?
Fortunately for us anxious liberals, Slate has come up with the perfect prediction tool, the crowd sourced, reality TV based, Trump C-list Cabinet Generator. This handy-dandy interactive tool allows you the voter to help decide. Select from a list of Celebrity Apprentice contestants. The Donald is not all that different from other politicians, when it comes to patronage jobs, he’ll chose from people that he already knows and has already fired.
But wait there’s more. Early returns are already in. Let’s take a look at the leader board: I don’t really understand Meatloaf for Agriculture. Can anyone enlighten me? I love Blagojevich for both AG and Treasury that will be a potent combination. What could go wrong? That big green mean machine, Lou Ferrigno, for Defense and Homeland Security ought to send ISIS running for the hills, Dennis Rodman for State will take care of North Korea and Gary Busey for VP will ensure a full term Trump presidency. No one would risk the alternative. Unfortunately, no one has been selected for Education or the EPA, because those two institutions are being shutdown.
If none of this has brought a smile to your face and you are only filled now with even more horror, then please take the following advice: When in question or in doubt, run around, scream and shout, “Panic! Panic!”