Futuristic 1932 Diving Helmet

Anne and I were trying to get our daily constitutional in one day last week, when it was so freaking cold out that we elected to walk to the grocery store and back. We figured that we could get our miles in and have a warmup break halfway through the walk. As we were outbound, we passed a neighbor’s house and noticed that there was a paper box in their front yard. Only instead of being one of the normal yellow or blue paper boxes that are commonly found about town, this one was olive-green, with multicolored speckles embedded in the paint. In its window, in bright pink lettering, was the message, “I WANT TO BE YOUR PRESIDENT”, in all caps. I opened the box and took one of the white broadsheets from inside. It was too cold to read it there, but when we got to the store, I examined it further. On one side of the sheet was just the pink headline, but on the other side was a rather lengthy black and white text. It was printed in 12-point Times New Roman. Interestingly, you could see the outline of the strips of text, where individual words, phrases or whole sentences had been cut out and then pasted together, just like a kidnapper would do to write their ransom note. Occasionally though individual letters were capitalized by hand-printing, like at the start of a sentence. All of this cutting and pasting and printing had been photo copied, so that on the sheet that I held, only the faint outlines of the process remained.

Reading the text, it became clear that it was an acceptance speech that someone would give if they were nominated to be our president. There was nothing odd in the speech, at least not compared to its delivery method. Its gist seemed relatively mainstream, full of solemn platitudes and promises. The only hint that I could find for any political motivation to manufacture such a document was at the very bottom of the page and in the tiniest font imaginable. It explained that this speech was an amalgamation of Barack Obama’s 2008 and Mitt Romney’s 2012 party convention’s acceptance speeches. I’m still wondering what sort of message this person was trying to convey. I mean, a lot of work went into this project. Maybe when the temperature gets above freezing again, I’ll ask them. I’m also left to wonder, hasn’t this person heard of the Internet? In 2016, Obama will not be running again for president, but just this week Romney announced that he is going to make a third try for election. This was in response to Jeb Bush’s gathering momentum in his attempt to be the third President Bush. As if, the first two Bush presidencies were such rollicking success stories. Isn’t there a law against third terms? Still, there is the alternative of another Clinton. It seems strange to me that the gene pool for president has dwindled so much.

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
– The Who, “Won’t Get Fooled Again”