Let Toonces Drive

Beaded Jaguar

Toonces, the Driving Cat is a fictional sketch character from Saturday Night Live. Created by SNL writer Jack Handey, Toonces was the family pet of Lyle (Dana Carvey) and Brenda Clark (Victoria Jackson), a couple who would allow their cat to drive the family car. At first, they were delighted that their cat had such an ability, but were always horrified to discover (too late) that Toonces was actually not a good driver. Inevitably, Toonces would drive the car over a cliff. This sequence was characterized by someone in the car yelling “Toonces, look out!”, followed by stock footage of the car sailing off a cliff. – per Wiki

Obama wins the election, the stock market pulls a temper tantrum and Republican congressional leadership returns to the mike after remaining silent for months. A lame duck session of Congress is in the offering, with the main agenda item on the table being the fiscal cliff.

The so-called fiscal cliff is really a series of escarpments. Broken down this precipice encompasses several parts. First, there is sequestration, the compromise from last year’s debt ceiling deal. Sequestration would cut the federal budget, but the main complaint about it is that it will cut as with a maul and not with the prefered scalpel. Second, are the payroll tax cut that were implemented to stimulate the economy and an extension to unemployment benefits. Finally, there are the Bush-era tax cuts.

It is generally agreed that allowing all of these tax and spending changes to occur would be a bad thing. It could possibly lead us back into another recession. There is the rub though. As a loyal American only wishing the best for my country I would whole heartedly endorse such a deal. Except that we will be dealing again with the very same tricksters, who for the past two years have done nothing, except to our obstruct government.

Once you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow – Chuck Colson, Nixon consul

The Republicans have proved themselves way too adept at spinning these sometimes too arcane financial debates. The Democrats just can’t seem to hold their own water when it comes to debates like this. I have a simple prescription, let Toonces drive. Let’s dive off this fiscal cliff. Come late January, when the new Congress is sworn in, they can address these problems properly.

Except they won’t be the same problems. The Democrats won’t be arguing to raise taxes on the rich that will have already been done. Instead, the Dem’s might even exceed to an upper class tax cut, albeit a small one. Budget cuts will have been already made, we will just leven them with some intelligence. We’ll want to cut middle class taxes too. The markets will gyrate, but in the end rebalance. Is this not a Grover Norquist dystopian future?

To the more milk toast of my Demo brothers and sisters, I offer the following sop, Toonces in a happier younger time. I also want to offer a belated Happy Birthday to Dr. Alice. This blog has totally gone to the dogs. I mean cats.