This year’s runup to Halloween has been dominated by dentistry. On Tuesday we had our regular dental appointments. Because our dentist’s office is twenty miles away, we try to coordinate them together. This long drive out Highway Farty has frequently been problematic. This one was no different. First, my phone rang as we were exiting the highway. It was our dentist, wondering where the hell we were. It was just eleven, so technically, we weren’t late yet, but we would be and told them that we would be there in five minutes. A couple of minutes later Anne’s phone erupted. Same caller, same question, same response. Only now, we were just a mile away.
On arrival, my hygienist—Floss Nazi “greeted” me. Once seated, following up on my last appointment in May, I announced my assent to her then purposed “deep cleaning.” While my teeth, excepting two caps are perfect, my gums are not. I have periodontal disease. Her new bait-and-switch proposal was a referral to a specialist, a periodontist. I left with only a piece of paper.
My dentist had fired me! As I seethed, I still had to wait for Anne. Sitting in the waiting room, I searched for a new dentist. After a couple of calls, I found one, a mile from the house who would see me on Thursday. Aspen Dental is a national chain. The next day was my introductory appointment. It was free and full of x-rays and other tech. There was this pen like device that was rubbed over all my teeth and gums, and a 3D model of my mouth was created. The end prescription was for a deep cleaning, and it was scheduled for Friday.
Before I could get out the door, I had to pay the piper. Most of that discussion revolved around what insurance I had. It is a Blue Cross supplemental Medicare policy, with a dental rider. The Blues treat dentistry as the poor relation to their medical business. I had to call my now former dentist to get their phone number. The Aspen business manager worked her magic and got a human on the line. Long-story-short an initial $5K+ bill was reduced to less than $2K.
On Friday, everyone at Aspen was wearing Halloween costumes. I was greeted by a tooth fairy. Numbed for the procedure, she went to work and even with interruptions to help colleagues, she finished early. I even got the fabled periodontist laser treatment to zap bacteria. I am now on a two-week no flossing allowed moratorium. I gargle instead. No floss nazis need apply.