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Ladies, if your significant other is unable to perform satisfactorily, due to his electile dysfunction our intervention will also help bring you greater electoral joy. Using our totally legal mail-in ballots, we will assist you as you work with him to overcome his (Ahem) little difficulties with democracy. It is time to take certain matters into your own hands. Lead him along. Believe me, he’ll come willingly. Vote by mail. It’s safe, secure and will be an absolute pleasure for both of you. You owe it to yourself, to be able to enjoy his election to the fullest too.
Pictured are our mail-in ballots, for next month’s local elections. This pair are the first of three sets that we have already requested, culminating in the most important election the year, the one in November. I especially like the riff on the normal “I Voted” sticker, with “I Voted at Home.” While we will mail-in our ballots well before election day, I plan on wearing my sticker on election day.
We have voted by mail for years, as we are usually out of town on election day. If anything, it is the most secure form of ballot there is. I especially like that I can do a little research on any propositions or canidates on the ballot that I am unfamiliar with as I vote.
What? Not one word about my wit?