Cone Flower

I went to the dentist for lunch. I found his noontime fare was neither appetizing nor filling. I left his office feeling sore in the mouth and feeling somewhat disgruntled and no, in case you were wondering I did not floss enough. Does anyone ever floss enough? My hygienist today, if rated on a scale of one-to-ten, would certainly be an eight and maybe even a nine. She had soft gentle hands and was quick about her business. I almost believed that I would escape ‘the lecture’, but after she had withdrawn from my mouth, she let me have it, “You need to floss more often …” At least she waited until she had pulled-out all of her sharp, metal tools. Previous floss-Nazis have enjoyed lecturing me while I lay prostrate before them, my mouth chuck full of their instruments of discomfort. Is it safe?

This preamble set-a-jar my frame-of-mind when I returned to my office. I got back to work and was busy about my tasks, when a conversation, nay a diatribe, wafted over my cubicle walls, “Obama has no respect for this country …” Ya-da, Ya-da, Ya-da, went the rest. I bit my tongue, instead of biting his. After all, this was a business setting and biting his tongue would be against company policy. I could have spoken-up and asked him, “Do you really prefer the closet liberal candidate over the one that has already come out?” I could have taken the opposite tack and agreed with him, “Mitt is my man. He is such a severe conservative. I totality love his heath-care program over Obama’s.” Instead, I remained silent, at least until now.

I say Obama your Mama! His election is so 138 days away. There are more pressing concerns. In particular, there is the pearl-clutching going on in the Michigan State Legislature. Below, I shamelessly ripped-off, or take inspiration from, or aggregate a Daily Kos article on this subject. Yes, aggregate that sounds so much more better than plagiarism.

Representative Lisa Brown (D) is at the heart of this controversy. She is the one that has uttered the naughty word. This word describes a certain body part, a certain female body part. Michigan’s Republican House leadership has been trying to explain why they gave Rep. Brown a ‘time-out’. Was it because she used a wordy dirty? Originally yes, according to Rep. Wayne Schmidt (R), she used the most offensive word in the English language. Rep. Mike Callton (R) explained, “I don’t want to say it in front of women.” After pushback House Majority Leader Jase Bolger (R) explained, “It was not the words that she used, but the way she used them that resulted in her being gaveled down.”

Please gentlemen, you are acting like dicks. Can you say dicks? You the Republicans have alienated the Gays, the Hispanics, you never had the African-Americans and now you are alienating women. Do you really think that you can win an election with your 30% base?

OBTW, I need a few more words to hit my word count goal: vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina and vagina.