Wyrd Sisters

Indian Pipeweed - A Saprophytic Plant

Sister One: Eye of Newt and Toe of Froggie …

Sister Two: I was thinking something more vegetarian, maybe a sun-dried tomato-basil …

Sister Three: You know it is cheaper to buy sun-dried tomatoes at the Plum salad bar, than packaged? Well, I’m just saying.

There was a pause

One: Bubble, bubble, deep fat trouble. Big fat butts and chins that double.

Two: I don’t want to go to Clyde’s.

Three: If you only come in for one meal a day, soon your waist will fade away.

There was a long pause, followed by a shorter pause.

Two: I wouldn’t mind going out to eat, except that it is -7 °F cold outside. That’s too cold for me.

One: You think that is cold, it’s -22 °C in Canada.

Three: Oh, those poor, poor Canadians.

The night was as black as the inside of a cat.

One: Thrice the brinded cat hath mewed.

Two: Thrice and once the hedge pig whined.

Three: I’m getting hungry too. I wish that we could decide.

One: Three times the striped cat has proclaimed.

Two: Three times plus one, that would be four, the concealed pig complained.

Three: Thanks for the old English translation, but I’m still hungry. 

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind howled. Lightning stabbed at the earth erratically, like an inefficient assassin.

One: Something wicked this way comes.

Two: Double, double Toyota troubles, Firebirds and Cadillacs stumble, for all the EPA spells a pot of trouble.

Bill: Hey, what are you old witches doing about dinner?

Three: I’m not a witch, I’m your wife.

One: I’ve found a recipe. Let’s see here, round about the cauldron go; in the poisoned entrails throw, toad that under cold stone days and nights has thirty-one sweltered venom sleeping got, boil thou first in the charmed pot. What do you think about this dish?

Two: That doesn’t sound very vegan to me, but if you insist, I’ll eat meat. Instead of that recipe, why don’t we try this one. Fillet of Fenny snake, in the cauldron boil and bake; eye of newt …

Bill: She turned me into a newt, but I got better.

Two: … and toe of froggie, wool of bat. and tongue of doggie,

Bill: Alfred? Now his bite really will be worse than his bark.

Two: Adder’s fork, and blind worm’s sting, lizard’s breath, and owlet’s wing, for a charm of powerful trouble like a hell broth boil and bubble. What’d you think?

Three: While you three have been whining, I’ve been busy in the kitchen. I’ve whipped up two pans of my world-famous lasagna, one vegetarian and one with meat. It’s all done, so let’s sit down and eat already.

All: Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble.

The End

– Apologies all around, to the bard and Terry P. and to all my out-laws, except for maybe Alfred. 😉

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