Brains? Yum!

Anne has taught in the elementary school the last couple of days. This means that she has to get up the earliest of all the schools that she teaches in, because the elementary school starts first. This tends to result in sleep deprivation. This morning, she was about ready to squirt out the door, when I was just getting up, still wiping the sleep from my eyes. She was in those frantic last few moments of preparation, when one races about gathering up the flotsam and jetsam of possessions, filling pockets with wallet, keys and cell phone. She must have reached an epiphany [Anne claims her next actions were in response to my appearance], because she turned to me, arms outstretched level before her, hands bent limp at the wrists. She walked haltingly, swaying body and head from side to side. All the while, she repeated one word, “Brains”, “Brains”, and “Brains”. Was this the inception of the coming zombie apocalypse? A quick kiss on the lips and she was out the front door. Had I been spared? Had I been infected with a Judas kiss? What about those poor sixth graders that she was charged to teach today? What about their brains? These thoughts were racing through my mind; when she again threw open the front door. It is so easy to do that now. Arms still outstretched, still in zombie mode, her mantra had changed to, “Lunch”, “Lunch”, and “Lunch”. She shuffled into the kitchen, grabbed her lunch sack, one more kiss and then she was truly off to school.

Anne on the Old Chain of Rocks Bridge - Night Girl in the Bright Sunlight

To combat the coming zombie apocalypse, we will need super-heroes. I have a pair to offer up, Anne and me. If you could stop laughing for just a moment, I can explain. We could be the Diurnal Duo, individually, Night Girl and Day Boy. We’ll offer round the clock protection from the likes of zombies, the Sandman and the Rack Monster. The Rack Monster is that beast that pins you in bed and prevents you from getting up, especially, when you really need to get up, like to go to work. Like all real super-heroes, we have super-powers. Night Girl can stay up late into the night, but tends to weaken in the morning’s early light. She frequently wrestles for hours in the morning, with the Rack Monster. Conversely, Day Boy is up before the sun rises and is good to go without a nap all day long [Anne: Hmm, most days]. Unfortunately, come sundown, Day Boy’s eyelids have been known to droop. This doesn’t exactly make him the life of dinner parties. Still between the two of them, we’ve got you covered 24/7. We still have a few things to figure out, like our back story. Every super-hero needs a back story, but we’re still working on ours. We also need a method for you, members of the threatened public, to be able to contact us in case of an emergency. We were going to use a giant search light, with the silhouette of the moon and the sun stenciled on it, but by day, Night Girl, and by night, Day Boy, both agreed that the light, it burns. In the meantime, in case of an emergency, make a comment on this blog, stating the nature of your emergency, and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can. For the time being, we are only accepting supernatural emergencies, for all others dial 911 or something. Operators are now standing by, please call, I mean comment.

Leave a Reply