How Are You Feeling?

Saint Louis set a record high temperature today, 66 °F. This made for much more pleasant weather than we had experienced at the beginning of the week. Then there was no precipitation, just cold weather. I got a prescription filled today to help alleviate the skin irritation brought on by that cold spell. The cold dry air does that to me. Our new humidifier seemed to be working overtime during the cold snap. I could hear the excess water from it gurgling into the floor drain and in the morning, just opening the front door is enough to cause the glass storm door to fog up. However, I think that I am protesting a bit too much about this winter’s weather, because there were insects flying about this afternoon.

I’m not the only one with complaints though. Earlier this week, I came upon a friend of mine, who was seated, but was sitting self-consciously straight. It seemed that he was stretching, or at least working on his posture. I asked if he had some sort of back problem, or something. He said no, it was his knee that was the problem and not his back. He explained that his knee had begun to bother him and the pain was interfering with his running program. He has become quite the avid runner. He had visited a sports medicine physician, who examined him and afterwards pronounced the diagnosis that his ass was too tight. My friend’s pronouncement did not go unnoticed and quickly gathered an audience. Warming to the crowd, he began to hold forth, “Yes folks, I have been medically diagnosed a tight-ass.” My laymen’s interpretation of the actual diagnosis is that too tight muscles in his rear was causing him to run funny and consequently hurting his knee. “It gets better though, you see only my right cheek is tight, not my left.” “So, I’m righty-tighty and lefty-loosey.” Trust me folks, I can’t make this stuff up, my friend is an engineer.

I did obtain permission from the principal to blog the above story. I promised to be circumspect and I think that I have succeeded. I’ve asked this friend to supply a link to his doctor, so that I can pass it on to another friend who also has a knee ailment. I would never dare to describe this second friend as a tight-ass, but some of this friend’s customers would likely go with hard-ass. If I haven’t obfuscated these identities enough, to obscure them, then I better call in the Car Guys, Click and Clack, for help. I’ll close this post, with a thematic joke that is not entirely safe for work, not that anyone ever reads this blog during work hours. 😉

A groom was undressing before his bride, on their wedding night. When he took off his shoes and socks she gasped, “What’s the matter with your toes?” “Toelio”, he explained. Dropping his trousers, she asked about his knees. “Kneeasles”, he said. When he took off his underwear she asked, “I suppose you are going to tell me that you have dicktheria?” “No, smallcox”

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