The company’s fitness challenge has entered its second week and now that I am back in the office, I can tabulate my results, and Voilà, I am my team’s (the Decibels) Top Stepper. With over 100,000 equivalent steps, I am 25% ahead of my closest teammate. I say equivalent steps, because even though everyone (except me) was issued a pedometer, to count their steps, the tabulating software accepts other forms of exercise and then converts that exercise into equivalent steps. Half of my steps come from last weekend’s two bicycle rides. For bicycling, the software doesn’t count miles, like I usually do, but uses speed and duration. This is a more accurate way to count calories expended than simply mileage, so I surmise that everything is boiled down to calories.

Whether it is equivalent steps or simply calories, the company’s exercise software accepts a wide range of different physical activities. In addition to all of the standard team and individual sports, there is a host of let us say more esoteric activities. There is gardening for example. I counted an hour of gardening for the plants that Anne and I planted over the weekend and was amply rewarded. I need to mow the lawn and I noticed that I can record that activity too. I also noticed that below lawn mowing, the next category is lawn mowing, rider mower. I would take an exception to this except that most my steps have been accumulated while sitting on my butt too. I especially looked askance at miniature golf as a physical activity, but it beats sitting on the couch.

Among the plethora of physical activities, there is one category that is conspicuously missing and that would be sex. Personally, I think that this is a grave oversight, but maybe the company just doesn’t want to have to insure any more dependents? One of the wags at work told me that the iPhone has analogous Apps that do include “sexual activities”. That may be, but my prudish company chooses not to ask, so I won’t tell. In the mean time, I rode another 15 miles after work on Tuesday, but I’m just a piker. Anne rode 31 miles, I am so glad that the company’s fitness challenge doesn’t include spouses, yet.