Bitches get stitches,
They end up in ditches,
So, get the riches.
— Blood on the Dance Floor

Well, I guess that I’m the bitch here. Yesterday, I got into a knife fight with an avocado and lost. I was fixing avocado toast as I have many times before. I tried to spear the pit, which slipped and ended up slicing my pinky instead. With a new extra sharp knife. We got a bleeder! Eventually, Anne was able to get a bandage on the wound that pretty much staunched the blood. She finished making lunch and afterwards we walked together to the local urgent care. I got three stitches. The doctor there said that he gets a lot of business that involved avocados. They are a very dangerous fruit. Or maybe I am too old now to try being hipster cool by making avocado toast. He recommended some sort of “safe” plastic device for preparing avocados. In the future, I think that I will just be more careful.

Yesterday, in other health news, the Missouri Department of Health tweeted the above message. Talk about underselling their mission. So, I guess it has been zero days since Missouri was a national embarrassment.