I’m so confused. Last night, Trump protesters were chanting both “Count those votes” and “Stop the count” outside separate ballot-counting sites in Arizona and Michigan. It has been one crazy election. Heck, it’s been a whole crazy year. It is day two of vote counting purgatory or is it day three? What day is it anyway?

Stop the presses, this morning the mad king Donald has finally tweeted, “STOP THE COUNT!” Now, there is clarity. His preannouncement finally gives us an election decision. Freezing vote counting, freezes the current vote totals, gives Biden 270 electoral votes and the presidency. Thanks, Donny!

Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work like that. Don’t look at me sideways, but in the real world one can’t just claim something and make it true. Trump tried to do this, he already tried to steal the election and declared victory on election night. He said, “Frankly, we did win this election.” So, buckle-up Buttercup, it’s still going to be a bumpy ride. We’ve got some more hanging tough to do, more votes to count, before this election is decided, but have faith folks. I believe that Joe Biden will be our next president and I believe that the only way that Donald Trump will ever get to 270 is if he loses fifty pounds.